I figured today that I’d show you all my cat, Paddy.
He’s a pretty chill dude, and he has the most amazing fluffy tail.
And he knows he’s handsome.
Just look at him. Admire his fluff. Tell him he’s a pretty kitty. Cause he is.
Just don’t fall for the trap. That belly may look fluffy but he does not like belly rubs. And he does not like having his feet touched either, so trimming his nails is a dangerous task.
Anyways, I’m kind of panic rambling right now.
I figured if I showed everyone these relaxing and cozy pictures of my cat that maybe somehow it would help me relax, too.
I really shouldn’t be stressed. It’s no big deal. But my husband is going in for surgery tomorrow. It’s not even a major surgery. He’s getting his deviated septum fixed, and it’s a standard procedure.
I get jittery and anxious thinking about it anyway.
I don’t really understand why I’m nervous – he is the one getting the procedure. Not me. I should be snug as a bug while he’s going under anesthesia.
But I will have to drop him off at the hospital and pick him up again, and driving to unfamiliar places scares me. Like it’s ridiculous how much it scares me. And I know it shouldn’t.
I get jittery and anxious thinking about it anyway.
And my mind is constantly in an anxious loop. I worry that maybe I’ll make a mistake along the way and get in a crash. Or maybe something terrible will happen to Chris at the hospital. And both of those are unlikely.
I still get jittery and anxious thinking about it anyway.
And I hate that feeling.
I’ve been panic cleaning all weekend in anticipation of the surgery. I completely rearranged my pantry. I emptied the ice container in our fridge, and I used the ice to clean our disposal.
I’ve scrubbed things I don’t normally need to scrub. I also know that if I stop cleaning, I’ll have to sit down and think about the thing that scares me.
But maybe I should do that anyway.
I’ll let myself be scared now, so I can be calm about things tomorrow. And in the meantime, I’ll cuddle Paddy and let him purr into my chest.
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