The last few years I’ve noticed something a little uncanny. I’m stuck in a time loop.
Each year repeats a lot of what happened in the year before. Am I going crazy?
Happy Groundhog’s Day
I’m not sure if you’ve seen the amazing Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day, you might have an idea of what I’m going through. In the film, Bill Murray’s character Phil Connors has to repeat the same day over and over and over until he lives the perfect day and finally breaks the loop. During that time, he does everything from learning to speak French to mastering the piano to ice sculpting.
Although my actual day doesn’t repeat, I do feel some solidarity with Phil Connors in that my years tend to follow a repetitive pattern. And during that time, I fill my hours with learning to bake, carve, and paint.
My family celebrated Groundhog’s day not too long ago and, of course, we watched the movie on repeat, as is tradition. But after watching the movie, I noticed my life repeats an awful lot, enough to feel like I’m stuck in a time loop.
What Keeps Looping?
Of course, in any given year, some things are bound to repeat. For example, flowers bloom in the spring and fruit ripens in the fall. I can count on those things to loop over and over again because it’s a natural part of life.
What I can’t figure out is why these particular things seem to loop in my life. They aren’t a part of a natural order of things. They just coincidentally repeat each year.
Car Repairs
Almost every year in February, I have to account for some kind of vehicle repair. This year, I thought that since we bought a new car, we could avoid the loop entirely – but nope! Our new tires picked up a screw. Fortunately, we only needed a patch job rather than completely new tires.
Last year, our other car needed all of its tires replaced. To be fair, they were in pretty bad condition. The back two were so flat that we had to get a tow truck to bring them to the mechanic. The year prior to that, our van had sprung an oil leak. And the year before that, the van also needed new tires.
I understand that car repairs are just a part of life. But why consistently February in my life? I can’t figure that out. But if I am stuck in a time loop, I can at least budget for predictable expenses.
Big Scary Events
Okay, I don’t know how to sum this up without sounding a little bit paranoid and maybe a little bit crazy. Or maybe I’m just a generally anxious person and things just seem scarier at this time of year.
But it seems like February is the month for the news to go hog-wild over something that sounds like doomsday. Right now, Russia is invading Ukraine and that sounds pretty intense.
Last year, we had several new strains of COVID, and huge snow storms blew throughout the states, with Texas getting hit pretty hard. The year before that, the first American died of Covid, and we also had earthquakes in Utah. Prior to that, we had more earthquakes.
Seriously, I can’t figure out why February seems to bring a lot of doom and gloom in particular. Or maybe that’s just the month that I’m tuned into it, and the rest of the year seems equally scary. Whatever the deal is, it feels like my life keeps recycling and repeating itself. If I am stuck in a time loop, is it possible to get out?
Weight Loss Planning
Okay, this one is is just a weird part of my own psyche. A lot of people I know make goals to lose weight in January. It’s the beginning of the new year. People want to get the year off to a great start, so they promise to do better.
But weirdly for me, I make goals in January, and then I don’t do anything about it until February. Maybe because January is still a cold month and all I want to do about it is hibernate. Maybe I do make a few barebones attempts at losing weight, but I give up after a day or two.
Once February comes around, I usually see something to spur me toward losing weight again. This year, it was a foldable treadmill* that could fit so easily in our bedroom. Last year it was a mini elliptical that I could slide out from under a table. The year before that, I bought a swimsuit and a duffle bag so I’d go to the gym more often. And so on and so forth.
I haven’t actually met my weight loss goals. Yet February seems to be the month where I desperately try to up my game. I’m constantly stuck in a time loop of setting goals, buying things, and then falling off the wagon.
How Do I Break the Loop?
In the movie, Phil didn’t break the loop until he had a perfect day. So I’m guessing I’ll be stuck in a time loop indefinitely unless I have a perfect year?
That goal is impossible, of course.
So I’m going to try to break the loop in other ways and see if I can make my year just a little bit different from the year before it. I might not be able to break away from the loop entirely, but maybe I can form some good habits along the way and make my future a little brighter.
So this year, I want to break the loop by going on new adventures and trying new things. I’d like to take a vacation of some kind to some place new, like Hawaii. And I’d like to go camping and hiking with my family. Maybe I could try intermittent fasting and actually reach my weight loss goals.
I guess I’ll have to report back next February and see if I had any success with breaking the time loop.
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